


Megaera's Report

by Jimcloud



Category: Hades (Video Game 2018)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Post-Relationship, but it's mild i swear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-10-02 12:51:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17264585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jimcloud/pseuds/Jimcloud
Summary: Tartarus has been seeing a lot of action lately, which for Megaera means one thing: more paperwork....Two things. It also means fighting the prince of hell time and again until he gives up or escapes the Underworld.One thing's for sure: it's a good thing she keeps a spare parchment for all of her rough drafts.





	Megaera's Report

Escape Attempt 1: I can't imagine that this is Zagreus's first try at escaping Tartarus, but I don't dare leave my post to gather information. Especially not after he's made it this far once. ~~He came in wearing that cocky grin of his, looking for trouble as usual~~ The shades in Tartarus have proven less of a deterrance than we had hoped. I am as yet unsure whether that speaks more to his skill or their incompetence, though given his showing against me I think the latter more likely.

Our battle played out much as you might expect. I quickly dispatched him as he put up some feeble attempt at stopping me. ~~Gods, but he's Achilles's worst student yet, I think~~

One other thing. He came in wielding one of the Infernal Arms - Stygia, I believe. Where in the hell did he get that from?

Attempt 2: Once again ended in his failure. This time he bore a different weapon... the spear, Varatha. The very same you once wielded. ~~I can't help but laugh at the irony~~ He is persistent, that much is certain, not that it'll do him much good here. My whip took care of him.

Attempt 3: Back to the sword this time. He seems to be trying to get used to my fighting style. Not that it'll do him much good.

One thing I noticed this time, something new. When he darted across the field as he sometimes does, delaying the inevitable, lightning bolts struck as he moved. You may have already expected, but I believe this confirms the intervention of one or more of the Olympians on his behalf.

Attempt 4: It seems that his godly boons must change each trip he ventures here. There was no lightning this time, but when he struck me, I could feel a curse wracking me with pain beyond the blow itself. I could feel the war god's hand in this. It is likely safe to assume that most, if not all, of the Olympians are aiding him in his childish escape attempts. ~~I don't believe he told them the truth of his heritage, in that case. I dare not guess their reactions when~~

While I did once again dispatch him, I regret to admit that this time he pushed me much further than I'd expected. He is improving, and much faster than I'd like.

Attempt 5: Perhaps last time was a fluke. His showing was downright pathetic this go.

Attempt 6: More time passed between these two battles than the previous ones. I believe that a wretch is owed a reward somewhere down in Tartarus. I suspect this has something to do with a change of weaponry: this time he came wielding Coronacht, the Heart-Seeker. ~~Little wonder he's been failing, then - he told me once that he struggled most with the bow, and after seeing that I believe it~~ This wasn't our shortest battle yet, but it was close. And it was definitely his weakest combat output.

Attempt 7: A shield this time. Aegis - the first Aegis, that is. I hesitate to imagine he would be close enough to the gods to be granted Athena's own shield for battle.

This fight was mostly unremarkable, but there is one detail that I noticed. I had to strike him down twice. The first killing blow he simply shrugged off, pulling on a well of energy from gods-know-where. There can be no doubt: he is getting stronger, down in these wretched halls. And the darkness in him grows yet greater.

Attempt 8: I will need some time to recover from this bout. It was our closest match yet. He wielded the spear again, and with every jab I could feel my muscles growing limp, and my whip growing stiller. The power of Aphrodite was with him. ~~I can't believe he thinks~~

~~It won't work~~

~~It's so stupid~~

~~I hate~~

Yes. If that wasn't enough, he's gotten much better at dodging my blows and retaliating. He seems to have become more agile, as if he wasn't fast enough before. In the end, it wasn't even I that killed him - one of the witches I'd summoned struck him while he was focused on me. ~~I won't last much longer at this rate. You need to talk to him. Talk him out of this fool notion of his. You're his _father,_ if you told him your reasoning~~

Attempt 9: The little whelp finally got me. ~~He kept darting away from my attacks and lightning struck in his wake, and the curse of Ares was strong in his sword, and he just kept getting back up~~ I have no excuse. I will take measures so that it does not happen again. I can at least safely confirm his return, as he seems to have died not long after I did. ~~He offered me a bottle of contraband ambrosia, which I have taken for safe keeping. Actually... hell with it, I've earned this after the day I've had. Or night. Whichever.~~

Attempt 10: He has once again defeated me. His performance was even better than last time, in truth. ~~It seems he's finally taken those lessons to heart and grown. It's funny, almost. You would be proud of him had this happened in any other circumstance.~~

Attempt 11: He tried coming in wielding the bow this time. I punished him appropriately for his hubris.

Attempt 12: I won again. ~~I asked him why he kept using the bow, and he just smiled at me, and said "how else am I supposed to get better with it?" Gods, but he's such an idiot. It's almost like he sees this as nothing but practice~~

Attempt 13: He won this time, using the shield. He's diversifying his technique. Based on the intelligence I've gathered ~~by asking him~~ he's managed a foray deeper into Asphodel. I don't doubt the Lernean Hydra will enjoy the taste of his flesh. 

Attempt 14: He won, again. ~~Hypnos told me that he lost to the Hydra last time, and Hypnos said he laughed it off. "I'm getting better!" How does he~~

~~I must admit I envy his persistence~~

Attempt 15: Another victory for the Prince. ~~He needs to stop talking to me whenever he comes back. He's just making this more difficult.~~

Attempt 16: He brought in that bow of his again. This time I won. ~~Oh, the look on his face. He was sure he had me this time.~~ ~~Why does he keep at it? He's never going to be good at that thing. Of course, I said that about his escapes in general...~~

Attempt 17: He won. Using Coronacht.

Attempt 18: I lost. ~~I think at this point we can just assume that I'm going to lose when I face him.~~ I apologize for my weakness. I am doing everything in my power to stop him. As I am faithful to the house, I will keep trying for as long as he keeps trying to escape. ~~I'm sorry~~

...

Attempt 21: I won ~~for once~~. ~~I'm so sick of~~

~~I just wish~~

~~I'm so tired. Eternity prepares you for drudgery, but that's not what this is. I ache every time we have to come to blows, and ache in another way entirely when he defeats me. It's not fair. None of it is fair.~~

...

Attempt 27: I'll strike this out later. I just need to get these thoughts out of my head. Why did it have to be this way? If you had simply told him the truth of his heritage earlier, if you'd just treated him better, if I'd done a little more to be there for him, maybe this wouldn't have happened. If he just wasn't such a stubborn fool, maybe this wouldn't still be happening. I know you expected him to get over his tantrum. I know you still expect him to. But it's not a tantrum anymore, and he won't be rid of it. I've seen that look in his eye. Once he sets his mind on something, he's going to accomplish it. And it doesn't matter how many times it dies, how many times he kills me. How much he puts this house through. It's all going to pieces, and I can't stand it. We don't deserve it!

He doesn't deserve it, either.

**Author's Note:**

> God I love the dynamic between these two bozos so much. They have such good chemistry it's insane. They're perfect.
> 
> The bit with the bows is in honor of my own (mouse using) behind, which has struggled, a little, a lot, getting the bow down. The irony of this is that I took a break in the middle of writing, used the bow, and got all the way up to Hydra. So.
> 
> If the stars align, I may end up doing a thing for Dusa, the other character I cherish in this dysfunctional hellpit they call a house.


End file.
